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I have 15 days until I leave for Ireland, I’m so excited  for new sights, architecture, pubs, castles, new faces, smells, roads, to understand what the color green actually is, to ride a train, to smell the ocean, to fight for an anxiety free life.

I have noticed that the closer my trip becomes, the more I have been isolated, I quit going to the gym, I’ve barely socialized, I have wrapped myself in the safe cocoon of my home, as if I am gathering strength, mentally preparing for the world outside my door. I am so scared, none of it makes sense logically, I am a street smart, cautious woman. It’s as if I’m warding off vampires, or preparing for abduction by aliens. None of my fears are real. None of my fears are real. None of my fears are real.

Mantra: I am powerful. I am independent. I am invincible. I have as much power to walk through this word as anyone else. Eat my dust. Watch me rise. Gulp.

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