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*Disclaimer* if you’re uncomfortable hearing about bodies and normal functioning of said bodies, you’d do better to go away now.

I am 48 years old and navigating perimenopause, it’s been three years of hell. My body isn’t my body right now. I am unbelievably frustrated.

Two years ago I didn’t stop bleeding for 4 months, I of course saw several doctors about this. I had all kinds of tests, a scope of my lady bits, an utrasound, blood tests etc. Besides a few non cancerous cysts in my uterus, everything looked tip top. I was finally given pills to stop the bleeding. I had become so anemic that lifting my arms was a chore. 

Today my cycles are erratic, no telling when it will show up, and inevitably it’s at times I’m in a movie theater, on a trip, or in the middle of nowhere. I can’t leave my house at these times because I literally need a bathroom every twenty minutes. I am still very anemic during this period(pun intended ha). I am unable to function, I can barely move.

My doc says this is normal. You know what is not normal? My sex life because of this circus.

I thought it might be valuable to share that if you’re dealing with this as well, you’re not alone. I have been lucky that I’ve always had mood swings…so no one sees a difference in that regard. Having no energy during these times is really the hardest thing to deal with, I’m not a lazy person, and all I can do is lay around and read. It is as if I have cement feet and I’m continually light headed. I chow down on iron pills like tic tacs.

I am so thankful I’m a woman, I am grateful for my cycles through my life. I was able to conceive children and have a family…not everyone is as lucky, fertility problems must be awful if you’re wanting a family. This, however is a pain in the ass and I can’t wait til this shit show is over.

I am not myself. The body I know so well and have grown to love is so different I don’t recognize it. I can’t lose weight at times, and at others I can’t gain.. something I’ve always had control of. Blea.

I know there’s light at the end of the tunnel, but for now I feel weak and out of sorts. Thank God I’m not having hot flashes yet, it’s like 106° in Utah right now.