My roof has finally forsaken me. The next two weeks will be spent in a spastic panic trying to fix it, afford it, schedule it, and not burst into spontaneous ulcer over debt.
This is a great analogy for my life. The roof has caved in repeatedly. I have come to the conclusion that once the worst happens, every other event becomes bearable.
My father and grandmother have died. I am still alive. Every event, every drama, and every mountain since then has miraculously become a small hill.
How does one cope when things fall apart literally and/or figuratively?
I have hashed through so much turmoil that expecting the worst and having the skill to cope with the worst has simply become who I am as a human being.
There is nothing I can’t handle. No amount of pain I can’t endure. I have found that being unbreakable is a double edged sword. People and the universe see this and will continually test this theory.
I like winning these wars. I like the ability to breathe deeply, smile, and shout in my best lieutenant Dan voice ” You call that a storm! Blow you son of a bitch!!!”.
There are some valuable coping skills I’ve learned during this circus of life. I thought it might help others out when your roof caves in.
1. Weigh it out. How serious is it in the big scheme of things? Is it a blip or an earthquake? If it’s a blip, you got this. If it is an earthquake..guess what, you got this too. The human mind and body is amazingly durable. You will survive, whether you think so or not.
2. Is it earth shattering or ego shattering? If it is earth shattering, seek others. Talk to people, lean on your support network. Is it ego shattering? Stop it, seriously.
3. Be weak. It’s ok. It’s ok to stay in bed for a week. It is ok to eat the entire stores supply of Oreos. For God’s sake comfort yourself, then get up and figure out how you’ll live, and prevail.
4. Don’t forget music. Ever. Music heals.
5. Self destructive behavior does exactly what it says. Don’t hurt yourself.
6. Try not to isolate. This one is the worst for me. After I’ve eaten the Oreos, I try to remember that I do have love, I do have people who will listen.
7. Money means nothing. Really. If it’s a financial problem, hold close what is important. The bills will always come, money stress is bad but there’s always help. I’ve had to utilize food banks, ask family for help, sell things I love..but it was just things.
8. Don’t ask why. It’s a waste of time, and puts a wall up against solutions. Give yourself only a finite amount of time to feel sorry for yourself.
9. Life is beautiful. It doesn’t feel like it at times, and life is always shitty if you blame others and live as a victim. Everything that happens is on you. What a relief right? It simple means you’re the one who can flip your circumstances and mindset.
I can only express what works for me. I’m learning too.
The next year will be spent on a slim budget, having to ask for help, depending on friends and my husband to help fix my house. It sucks. But it’s not the end of the world. I’m glad it’s my literall roof this time.