A friend suggested reading a book by a woman named Shonda Rhymes..the premise is basically about saying yes for a year. I’m doing this on a microscopic level and have been trying it this week. I am not only saying yes to invitations, I’m waking up in the morning and saying yes to getting shit done, and saying no to sitting on my couch binge watching Kimmy Schmidt, I am making a one episode a day rule.
The day before yesterday I went to my friend Squids house and took her her Ireland souvenirs. I got invited to a friend’s CD release party..going. tonight I went to a person’s house I knew through FB for a Memorial Day party, I knew no one..it was good, spoke to a woman who was awesome, ate good food while a decent band played. Ya know social anxiety really is a crappy thing, I didn’t die, I didn’t run out waving my hands and screaming, I’m glad I’m trying.
Travel has helped me immensely, I feel like I’m not even the same person I was a month ago, my head is held a little bit higher, my eyes meet others without flinching, my personal style has become something I own instead of a worry about how I will be perceived. So what if I dress like a 14 year old boy attending a Metallica concert. I refuse to be nervous about my Alopecia any longer, my colorful wigs are awesome. I’m done living in my house 24/7, my lack of communication and friendship is self inflicted. In fact everything in our lives is self inflicted, good and bad.
Today I have a plan, albeit a loose, disorganized, seat of my pants plan, but it certainly won’t include hiding out and avoiding the world. I’ve got shit to do, this ain’t no dress rehearsal, this is my life.
Thank you Ireland! Proof I went out: