I’ve never understood life, it’s all so confusing, I think often about how much time I waste trying to figure out the meaning of life, my personal purpose, some kind of revelation. Is there an endpoint where all knowledge of what it all means will simply wash over me?
K-mart is closing. They are selling everything and emptying their store. Everything is super cheap, I headed over yesterday to try to find some curtains for my living room. As we were driving over we passed the place where I first met my huband, the first time I saw him at 14 was magic. We passed a church that later we’d sat and talked all night, and he kissed me. We passed the house where we’d first made love. We passed the apartment I’d lived in where I became pregnant with one of our children. We passed a street where we’d argued on the corner and broke up. So much of this city is wrapped up in us.
As we walked into the store he grabbed my hand, and kissed my forehead. 35 years later and I am surrounded by love by this man, this witness to my life.
That is what it’s About. Love. A series of moments that we live in together. Bad and good. Moments that are itty bitty, but in conjunction become life.
I don’t need a huge life. I don’t need a lightning bolt revelation that makes it all make sense. Love. Love is the only thing that will mean something as I live and eventually die.
The moments with my children, laughing and simply walking this path together reveal that searching for any other meaning is futile.
Sometimes I forget to just enjoy this. Sometimes I fail them and myself by not noticing.
I am filled with gratitude today for a life that has meaning. I am surrounded by love and understanding that I need no other understanding.